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Editorial December 14, 2006
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Too Drunk to Park Is Too Drunk to Drive

The Journal and Topics Newspapers of Chicago’s northwest suburbs report police pulled a man over for making an illegal right-hand turn from the left-hand lane, but the man, glassy-eyed and smelling of alcohol, couldn’t park his car, so the police officer parked it for him before resuming the investigation that culminated in the man’s arrest on drunk-driving

charges. could retrieve it later.

Young Adult Males Make Liberty Overestimated

Ruckus Over Young

The Steuben County (N.Y.)

Adult Female Courier reports police

Nine 19- and 20-year-old charged a woman with disorderly

men, and one 19-year-old conduct for yelling

woman, were arrested for obscenities on Liberty

“noise,” the Oneonta (N.Y.) Street.

Daily Star reports.

Call in Order, Hide in Bushes

The Baltimore Sun reports no one responded to the pizza deliveryman’s knock, and as he returned to his vehicle, two men and two women assaulted him and stole $35 worth of food.

Man Caught Rummaging

The Athens (Ga.) Banner-

Herald reports a man of undisclosed age and name caught a 51-year-old man named Emory in his basement, rummaging. Rummaging, as such, is not a crime. Police charged Emory with burglary.

Where There’s Smoke There’s Mist

Smoke seen emerging from a social club turned out to be mist from outdoor misters, the Ontario, Oregon, police department reports.

Couldn’t Find Shaving Cream

Someone wrote messages in blood on the mirror in the women’s dormitory, Illinois State University police report.

Or You Could Take the Keys With You

A man’s car was stolen from a Burger King in Anacortes, Wash., and was later involved in a hit-and-run accident in Seattle, the Anacortes American reports. The man said his son had borrowed the car, and he speculated that his son had left the keys in the car and the car unlocked “so he could retrieve it later.”
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